Pfizer Corp is making the announcement today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use "as is", or as a mixer. Pepsi's proposed ad campaign claims: "It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one."
Obviously we can no longer call this a "soft drink."
This additive gives new meaning to the names of cocktails, highballs and just a good old fashioned stiff drink.
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of "Mount And
Do."
DANGEROUS. SAFER. SAFEST. ULTRASAFE.
There are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his
mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide
that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of
every husband, boyfriend, son or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in that color.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Have some more chocolate.
Remember: Money talks....but chocolate sings.
Untitled
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her
husband is at work.
Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year son was hiding
in the closet. Her husband came home
unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the
closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250,"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that
the boy and the mom's lover are in the
closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750,"
Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy,
"Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss
the baseball." The boy says, "I can't. I sold
them.
The father asks, "How much did you sell them
for?" The son says, $1000," The father
says, "that's terrible to overcharge your
friends like that. That is way more then those
two things cost. I'm going to take you to
church and make you confess." They go to the
church and the father alerts the priest, and
makes the little boy sit in the confession
booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit
again.":
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